There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
