i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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