My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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