There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
