the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
