Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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