who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
