Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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