Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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