You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
