We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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