Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
