is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
