put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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