Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
