that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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