It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
two words...techno handjob
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
