i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
