I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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