Whod you bang
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
