Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
