The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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