Quick, to the slutcave!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
