what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
