He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
