I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
