I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
