ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
