Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
