I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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