All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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