dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
