Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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