it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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