All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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