You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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