she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
