so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
