Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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