There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
