I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
