He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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