Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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