he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
