So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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