Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
