so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
