Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
