Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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