Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
