Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
