If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
