Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
