I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
