Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
