You're so nebulous sometimes
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
